Movies That Made Me Cry: Swing Vote

I was just watching a movie tonight, trying to enjoy myself.  Instead, I got lost in a spiral of negativity, self-doubt, and frustration.  In an attempt to work though it, I'm going to start posting on here when I feel this bad.  I don't really care that no one is going to see this, I just need to get it out.  But i do get the added bonus of pointing friends this direction if I want them to understand how I'm feeling, but don't really feel like, or know the right words, to share.

So America's one of the richest countries in the world, right? (I have no idea, I didn't do any fact checking for the movie..), why is it so many of us can barely afford living here?  Really, this is something I don't understand.  This movie really hit home for me b/c they characters were actually poor, not the fake kind of poor that many people are used to.  It's frustrating that many people only see two categories - homeless and doing okay.  I'm not homeless, my family is not homeless, but we have never been "doing okay".

Unless "doing okay" means having to forego school trips b/c you couldn't scrape up the $3 in change to pay your way in, or lying to friends about why they can't come over to your house, or eating beans for the last three days of the month until the food stamps replenish.

This is the reason I went to law school.  It's easy to forget this because I'm stuck in my own dark circle of poverty - but my only goal in life is to make things a bit easier for the working poor - the dads who have no shame b/c they care too much about their kids wellbeing, the moms who work in jobs where they are harassed, objectified, and underpaid, and the siblings who have to run their families or work instead of being kids.

There's only one major problem - I can't help other people if I can't even help myself.  Despite being a lawyer on paper, I have yet to find a way out of this circle.  So yeah, I cry sometimes.  I cry about dumb things, like the fact that I don't own a pair of jeans that don't have holes in them (and not the kind of holes that you pay for).  It seems selfish and stupid.  But underneath it all, I'm not crying about the jeans.  I'm crying because my family needed to get out of the rundown shithole they live in for the last 5 years, and i truly planned to help them do that by now.  They have done so much for me, all i want is to help them find a better place to live, one that isn't falling down around them.

It's easy to play the blame game.  It's everyone's fault.  It's my fault.  It's no one's fault.  It doesn't really matter whose fault it is - it still has to be fixed.  Raymond needs a job so that he can care for his baby on the way, and maybe feel enough pride in himself to not be drunk or on drugs all the time.  Robbie needs to live with my parents, and have an actual nurse come in to make sure that he's taking care of his legs.  And he needs someone to motivate him to make something of his life, and that he can do better than drugdealer.  Aaron needs a hug.  Actually, maybe it's me that needs a hug from Aaron.  He needs a private tutor, an understanding boss, and Jaden.  Daniel - I don't even know what to say.  He needs counseling for depression, and someone to keep reminding him (b/c i can't....) that college will help him get out of this cycle.  Someday.  I still believe that, but I find it too hard to be a motivator with this situational depression.  Fuck.  Wendy needs to see her options, and to stay away from boys.  And my parents need to stop feeling so helpless.  No one should have to feel this helpless.  ever.

I can't fix everyone's problems - even with all the money in the world.  But i could definitely take a stab at it.  If i could even solve one problem, it would be worth it.

If i could solve even one problem, I wouldn't be in this situation.  But i can't even do that.  It's really hard to figure out what I'm good for at all.  I have to stop being a drain on my family, and friends, and everyone I know...which is part of the reason I'm writing here.  I can't keep talking to people about this - it doesn't help, they like me a bit less everytime, and i just end up feeling more helpless - like I expect them to be able to save the world, and for a minute there's hope.... and everytime i hope, the fall is a little bit harder.

Anyway, i got really off topic.  When are people in this country going to start rioting over this?  Oh wait, they can't riot.  We're slaves to our low paying, high hours jobs.  Good job making us too tired at the end of the day to protest.

Website Wednesday: Eden is Burning and other great blogs

At some point being unemployed gets boring - that's when you find new fun things to do.  Some of the "new" and "fun" things i'm doing right now are

• trying to learn Spanish using Rosetta Stone - Have tried this before unsuccessfully
  
• the couch to 5k running plan at 6mph  (starting Week 3 today!) - Have done this before successfully, but slower. 
  
• researching (but not quite getting motivated enough to make) healthy great tasting meals...
• reading blogs - legal blogs, funny blogs, weight loss blogs, etc, etc, etc

So in honor of my new blog reading fetish, I'm going to introduce you to three of my favorite blogs (cue applause)!

Eden is Burning -  I just discovered this blog like today, literally.  Don't get disappointed by the fact that the author hasn't posted very recently.  I truly believe that if we all start following her blog (i just assumed it's a girl, maybe i should check that...) that she will return to us with time wasting and hilarious posts.  For all you purist who must relate this to unemployed THIS post says it perfectly...  " 'This [unemployment] is a trend just like any other, and, like all trends, once enough people do it it will be considered unhip again. When unemployment reaches 10% we will probably see a cultural backlash against it.'  Analysts predict that may be as early as fall of '09."  Guess that means we should be done soon, as we hit 10% in October. (no fact checking done, so don't yell at me if i'm wrong).

ExHotGirl -  If you're into once a day updates (no more, no less) then this blog is for you.  It's a healthy mix of super funny, weight loss, photography, and total randomness.  My favorite part of this blog is the ability and courage of the author to put herself completely out there.  If you read enough of this blog, you may find yourself knowing Jenn better than your own family.  Freaky.

Not For the Monosyllabic -  We've done fun (twice), and health, and now for the serious work related blog.  The author is a public defender (and lds, but that's virtually irrelevant) - she writes about her job, public perception, and random events.  I love this blog because of how much I can relate to it.  When i get a job, I hope to be THIS inspiring.  Please forgive her for liking her Snuggie.  I need reminders like this, of why I would love to be a public defender, and of how much I relate to this ....

I am surrounded each day by the cast-offs of society. My clients are homeless. They are poor beyond people's comprehension. They suffer from mental illness and they are unmedicated. They are without family, without friends, without someone to care about them. They are struggling with addiction.  My clients lack basic necessities. Letters I mail get returned because my client doesn't live there anymore--they are without a home. Phone calls are impossible because they don't have access to a phone. They don't have a ride to court. They don't have a ride to anywhere. They don't have much, if anything.

I would LOVE to hear about some blogs you love.  I have plenty of time to add them to my reading list!

To-Do: Prepare thoroughly and thoughtfully for job interviews

This is a good synopsis of how my interview went.

Regular blogging should return tomorrow. 

Guess Who's Back....

Hi.  My name is Rachael.  I have a real job interview on Friday.  Therefore, I'm lame.  And I plan on remaining lame for most of this week.  Nothing i could say right now would be interesting anyway....so I bring to you the always delightful Andy with another delightful foray into the world of guest posting!
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Stuff Unemployed People Might Appreciate, But Don’t

You’ve read and enjoyed other lists of things that unemployed people either like or dislike. All I can say about those lists is how pathetic I feel for agreeing with about 95% of the things mentioned.  I had peanut butter and jelly for lunch today, and you wouldn’t believe how much time I’ve spent thinking about what I would do for a Klondike bar. 

It seems like all good lists inspire at least a handful of more lists*, so here you have the list I was inspired to create.

There are several things that seem like perks when it comes to being unemployed/underemployed; I want to take this opportunity to introduce my list of things unemployed people are expected to like, but really don’t.

1.  7 Day Weekends – Remember when you were in school (or employed) and you looked forward to those two days of the week where you had no commitments other than to do something fun, something you’ve been waiting to do all week? Now think about how much you would have loved to make those two days last the entire week. Hmm…it’s not quite as fun as we pictured it. The two-day weekend served a higher purpose. It recharged us and gave us something to look forward to. Without those five days of build-up the weekend doesn’t really have the same effect. There is no looking forward to the days off when there are no days on. There is no reason to “thank God it’s Friday” or even to know that it is Friday. I usually forget what day of the week it is unless I read people’s facebook statuses that tell me ‘TGIF’ or “I have a case of the Mondays.” A constant stream of seven-day weekends only serves to disorient and discourage.

2.  Dressing Comfortably – Along the same lines as the 7 Day Weekend, many of the fully employed population envies the fact that we can dress however we want because we have no one to impress and no one to look professional for. We can dress comfortably every day; isn’t that great? It would be great except for the fact that every time I look down at myself to see I’m wearing pajamas (the same ones I wore yesterday), it reminds me that I have no one to impress and no one to look professional for.

3.  Talking About My Job Search – Everyone has an opinion. And I have pretty much heard all of them by now. I don’t want to be rude, but I also feel like I’ve talked to death about my search so can we move on please? As a quick disclaimer I should say that I don’t really mind talking about it with other unemployed/underemployed folks with whom I can commiserate. I also don’t mind original thoughts on the subject; they’re just so hard to come by.

4.  Encouragement – This is a tough one to write. To be completely honest, I do really need all the moral support I can get. Who doesn’t? The problem I have is that it often leads into something more like nagging and I don’t think that helps anyone.

5.  Reading Blogs About Being Unemployed – …oh wait…um…

And there you have it. Five things unemployed people might like, but don’t actually like. Please share your thoughts in the comment section below.  Do you agree? Disagree? What would be on your list?

*a principle I will discuss further if Rachael ever lets me do another guest post

Last minute Halloween Costumes

ok...so it's almost Halloween...or may already be depending on your time zone.  If you've been invited to a Halloween party and don't want to go because you don't have a costume or you just don't like dressing up in general, I have a costume idea for you.....

Your probably familiar with these stickers...

You've probably had to wear one at some dumb networking event or soiree of some sort... and you probably hate them.  Well not anymore...

Hello, My Name is Stickers are probably the best asset an unemployed person can  have come dress up time.... Consider these non-traditional costume ideas.








1.  Helllo... My Name is..... Slim Shady.   Did Marshall change anything about his look to become Eminem?  Did Eminem change anything to become Slim Shady?  I think not!  And neither should you.   Just don a "Hello, My Name is" sticker and write in "Slim Shady" and you'll be an instant hit!

2.  Hello... My Name is...   Inigo Montoya...(you killed my father, prepare to die).  Depending on your age you either think this is awesome, or completely overplayed.  Either way you're sure to be a riot in this sticker costume.

3.  Hello... My Name is... Jackson Pollock.   If you're too lazy to actually copy a Jackson Pollock masterpiece, you might as well just be the real thing this holiday season.  I promise.... you WILL be the only Jackson Pollock at your party.  Money back guarantee.

4.  Hello... My Name is...  Kate Bosworth... but only in Blue Crush.... .otherwise she's a skinny twig that no one likes....

5.  Hello... My Name is.... %$^&*## ...  that's right.  When anyone asks you about your costume, just string together a bunch of expletives and they'll get the picture. 





Basically, you can be anyone you want to be tonight.  Just write in their name on your sticker and have the time of your life!  If you do opt to stay home, remember to keep your porch light off to keep the kiddies away, if any dare to knock on your door for candy offer them a squirt of hand soap and a word of wisdom from your father... or mine, if yours never said anything interesting.

2 Days til Halloween.... Costumes for Unemployed People

If you're unemployed, you should have plenty of time over the next two days to perfect these costumes....  If you're unemployed and lazy, check out tomorrow's list for last minute costume ideas....

1.  Cardboard Box Optimus Prime - while this make take some time and effort, you could probably make it with stuff you have around your house.

2.  Stolen Toliet Paper Mummy - you wouldn't want to use any of your own toliet paper, you might need it later.  People will probably know that you stole the toliet paper b/c everyone knows you can't actually BUY one-ply that thin at the store.

3.  Adam & Eve - Great couples costume...or you could be both at the same time, but that might be weird.  Just go outside and find some leaves.

4.  Traffic Light - Red Hat, Yellow Shirt, Green Pants....check out your local salvation army or thrift store.

5.  Jackson Pollock Painting - surely you have a spare t-shirt lying around.  This could be the best costume of the season - if you're willing to copy a painting in painstaking detail that is.... 

6.  Lady Godiva - all you need is a wig.... unless you already have long hair.

7.  Your evil twin - this idea is even funnier if you actually have a twin.  All you need is a washable magic marker, or some mascara or eyeliner of your moms.

8.  Marky Mark - don't get this costume confused with dressing up as Mark Wahlberg, that would look totally different.  Everyone has jeans and a baseball cap lying around...and if you really want to you can draw on some abs.

Marky Mark isn't the only famous person that makes a quick and easy costume.  Check THIS out!  If i had to dress up to save someone's life - I think i'd go with the sexual harassment suit.

9.  The Michelin Man - Pillows and a blue scarf.  Probably the most comfortable costume you could come up with.

10.  A photograph - Dress up however you want and walk around with a picture frame.  Most dollar stores carry picture frames for $1.  Stealing is wrong - unless it's one-ply toliet paper.

To-Do and Website A Little Late...

My computer has been very very very broken.
It may still be.  I have sacrificed much to be able to bring you this very special post.....

HALLOWEEN is coming!!!!  and even unemployed people cannot hide.

Therefore, I am commanding you to embrace the wonderfulness that is halloween and have FUN!  I will not accept the excuse that you have no costume, there are plenty of cheap, easy, or cheap and easy halloween costume ideas out there on the internet.

Like "party in my pants"!  Seriously who wouldn't want to be a "party in my pants" for Halloween!!!!

Although this is my favorite, there are 12 other Halloween costumes that may get you fired, HERE.
Good thing we don't have to worry about that.  Btw, this link is probably not appropriate for children, or Mormons... or people who don't want to see someone dressed up like poop.

Ever since my friend told me about that website, I can't get enough.  If you're into cheap, check out these ideas, all made from household items.  CLICK HERE!

Come back later today, for a list of the best halloween costumes for the unemployed.  And tomorrow.  And I'll even give you a last minute list on Saturday - provided I can keep my computer working well enough. 

On a final note, I am not a hypocrite just because I don't plan on dressing up.  I'm just bad at Halloween.  If you don't believe me, check out these pics from the last few years.  Adios.

Ok fine, only one of those I actually went out in public in.  And one of them wasn't even on halloween.  But do you know which is which?