Welcome to Starbucks, what kind of overpriced coffee beverage would you like to order to jump start your employed day?

OMG!  Best website ever.  Unless you don't like anything coffee related.  In that case - worst website ever!

Great websites should be all about practicality.  Like this one.  You practically have to read this blog just to get yourself out of bed in the morning, right?  Anyway, so practically speaking, I have NO money to go to starbucks, zero, none, not even some change.  (Not that change would buy me anything at Starbucks anyway.)  Coffee isn't a luxury for only the employed, instead, for many it's a necessity of life.  How can one bear to read through the help wanted ads without a cup of something caffeinated and chocolate?  The one time I had some soda with chocolate, I died.  So coffee is the only option.  Personally, I"m a fan of Iced White Chocolate Mocha's... unless it's really cold, and then I get them smokin' hot.  So, what's your favorite Starbucks drink?  Please, do not respond if your answer has "skinny" in the name.

So, if you check out this website, you'll get a list of everything you need to make great coffee drinks at home.  If you are lazy, or can't read, or are Andy - here is a picture of the ingredients you need instead.

On the left we have the Mr. Coffee Espresso Machine (the one they mention on the website!), proudly mine for almost a year now.  Purchased from Wal-mart (whose website is temporarily unavailable or I would like to the product page in case you want to know all the specs of this nifty machine).  Please ignore all the wine in the background.  None of these recipes call for wine.   On the right we have everything you need to make a chocolatey yumness (minus the thermometer - which you only need if you can't tell the difference between hot and cold with your finger).  Again - ignore the wine.  If you can read the date on the Espresso - ignore that too.  (Does anyone know how long this stuff is good for?).


Seriously - who knew I had all the ingredients in my house right now.  This is amazing.  I might just go make a drink right now. Wait - Scratch that - I do need to sleep sometime.

But I do plan on trying some new variations in the future.  I bet I can make up a new drink that's better than anything Starbucks offers anyway.  I just have to use my imagination and actually get some use out of last year's Christmas present.  If anyone has already played the make up recipes game and has any do's or don'ts those would be appreciated too.  At this point i'm planning on avoiding this... it's not good for you.

Coffee Bean No Sugar Added Vanilla Powder.  Not cocaine.  Not worth anything.  You would probably have to pay people to take it from you.  The only thing this stuff is good for is lighting on fire.  If i get a chance, I'll take a picture of it burning for you, but I can't recreate the best part....  The smell of roasted marshmallows that hangs in the air for way too long after the NSA powder is gone, and the fog that kind of chokes you just from opening the bag.  Fun times.  Too bad I recently gave up marshmallows.  and deathly clouds of non-sugar fog.

To-Do Tuesday - Get a tattoo!

Traditional paths have not been working for me.  I am not motivated.  I don't really want to do anything, so I figured for this week I would change things up a bit.

 I just spent approximately 4 hours watching my roommate get her first tattoo.  While watching/giving her moral support, I was surprised to find that I actually felt motivated and positive about life.  Frankly, this has been a rare feeling for me lately and I desperately need motivation.  Since discovering that I can get an adrenaline rush without even being the one getting the tattoo, i need all of you to get tattoos!  (It would probably work even better if you take me with you!).  Remember - the tattooing will motivate you, too, this isn't ALL about me:-)

Obviously, I can't be the one getting the tattoo right now (no money, not very professional for job hunting, etc.).  But i'm definitely willing in the future - I just need to engage in some serious soul searching to find a design that I know I will be okay with when i'm 60.  There is one design that I really want to get... I came up with the idea in a dream.... but I have to force my dad to give me some personal information that he refuses to divulge first.  I may have to wait on that tattoo for a long while - my dad is extremely stubborn (and he probably wouldn't approve of me getting the tattoo either, so don't tell him that's why I need the information)!

Since I'm not planning on getting a tattoo today, I'll post an update on last week's To-Do for you later today.  Who knows - maybe I'll even come up with some brilliant pictures to go along with it.  You'll just have to wait and see.

Tattoos by Lexy

How being unemployed saves me money...

A friend recently pointed out to me that I have been giving unfair, and truly unneeded, attention to the negative impacts of unemployed.  My friend is right - there are plenty of near constant reminders of the perils of unemployment, so today, I'm going to talk about some positives... specifically HOW BEING UNEMPLOYED SAVES ME MONEY!!!

Everyone likes to save money. Everyone unemployed likes to save money.  Wait, that might not be true either.  Maybe - Some unemployed people like to save money (others like to spend it by maxing out all of their store credit cards with unneeded purses and sandals).

Which are nothing at all like this purse and these sandals.... 

Here are some unique ways being unemployed has saved me money...

• Back when I had a job was still in school and living largely off student loans (that I now can't repay), I used to do about one load of laundry per week.  Now I do about one load of laundry every THREE weeks.  It's easy - I wear pajama's virtually ALL the time.  Sometimes I'm lucky if I can even fill up the washer every third week.  At my local Albertson's, a 32 load bottle of All Small and Mighty (Free and Clear) is $6.49 (plus tax, but we'll ignore that).  That's approximately 20.3 cents a load!  So, by changing from a load a week to a load every three weeks, I have saved 13.53 cents a week!  That's an overwhelmingly large 1.93 cents a day!  (Indeed overwhelming when you realize that's $7.04 a year!)
• In case you wanted to know, I also save even more money on electricity and water when I cut back on laundry.  To wash and dry a full load of laundry in cold water it costs 43 cents on my electric bill. (So i save $14.91 a year!!)   Check out THIS website to see how much money you can save!
• LAUNDRY SAVINGS TOTAL/YEAR:  $21.95
  
• Further, since I'm always in pajama's and rarely leave my house, I don't need to shower nearly as often as someone in the "working class".  If i were working full time, I would be showering an absolute minimum of 5 times per week.  Lately, my weekly maximum has been 3.  A fifteen minute WARM shower costs 57 cents a day (water and electric).  (Check out Shower Calculator.)  So, I'm saving $1.14 a week by cutting out two showers.  Go me!  Save the environment, conserve water, STOP SHOWERING!  It's the GREEN thing to do!
  
• SHOWER SAVINGS TOTAL/YEAR:  $59.28   
•  GAS!  Guess what!  I don't drive to work everyday.  I never drive anywhere near downtown L.A. at any time near rush hour.  In reality, I drive so little I may have started to forget how.  I don't know how much money this saves me, it depends on how far I would be driving to work.  But I know that it's a lot.  It also saves tons of traffic jam frustration and gives me lots of time to spend on my hobbies.
• Even though I'm not saving any money on cable, internet, or rent while being unemployed, I feel like I'm getting a better value.  I use the cable and internet far more everyday than I would if I were working, and I'm actually at my apartment most all of the time.  If you calculate the cost of these items per hour of use, I'm getting a much better value on my investments than those employed people out there.  Suckers!
• Another way I save money - not having any to spend.  You'd be surprised how much money you spend purely because you have it available.  I used to buy random unneeded clothes all the time.  Or something as simple as a new toothbruth a few weeks earlier than I actually needed one.  When you have no money, you don't spend any unnecessarily.  I haven't bought an article of clothing since March!!  I didn't even buy THIS like a good band wagoner would have (even though I really really wanted it!)

I'm sure there are countless other ways that I'm saving money, but right now I would rather think about what I'm going to do with all of this money I'm saving.... I sense a shopping spree coming on!

Highlight of My Day

Finding myself on google!!!!!!!!

Sorry for the lack of posts/interestingness lately.  I haven't really been in the mood.  Unemployment is a good spawn for depression.

Website Wednesday!

 PEOPLE OF WAL-MART

BEST IDEA EVER...
What do you do when you're unemployed and can't afford cable? (or maybe you can't even afford a television, but that's doubtful.  Personally, I would give up eating on Tuesday's in order to afford a TV if i didn't have one.)

That's right... go to Wal-mart, tell the salesperson you need the remote (act like you're checking out a TV to buy if you have to), go find a chair (who cares if it's in a different department, move it!  You're creating jobs - maybe even creating one for yourself!) and start watching!

Unfortunately, TV watching at Wal-mart is the only good idea that I found on People of Walmart.

To-Do Tuesday: FIND A JOB

I know, I know, I'm usually not this serious.  But after having mac and cheese and cheerios for the dinner last night, I've decided that enough is enough.  I have got to find some sort of income producing activity.  Friends have offered me countless suggestions, like...

• "I heard you can make $1000 a month by writing a blog and updating it everyday!" - yeah, I'm sure that's true, if you write about something useful and you cater to blog readers who have money.  Unfortunately, I do neither.
• "I heard the local fast food restaurant is hiring." - Frankly, I just don't have the energy to go fight with all those laid off executives for a minimum wage job.  And I think it's morally wrong to lie and say you have less education/experience than you do.  Although I'm completely fine with lying and claiming you have more experience.  I've heard that can get you in trouble and fired after you get the job - but hey, I'd be happy just getting an interview.  I'm perfectly willing to take the chance of getting fired two weeks in.
• "Have you heard about that chain letter thingy where you give people underwear and you get like 100 pairs in the mail within a month?"  (If not, see here) - Yeah, I HAVE heard about this.  Honestly, I don't need anymore panties right now, and the local thrift store doesn't really give you much money for trading in random pairs of underwear.... not sure how you think this suggestion is going to help me.

I've finally decided that there is no scheme that will help me, so secret that will pay all of my bills, and no legitimate online work opportunities (if you're interested, I can point you to several illegitimate ones).  I have no choice but to actually do something this Tuesday.  I sincerely hope that you will follow my lead, put in some extra hard work, and continue reading my blog even after you get a job.  Here are my top suggestions for finding a job and my relative goals for today in each area....

• Network with Alumni - Get a list of alumni that live in your area (and work in your field!).  Now, here's the important part... getting the list is not good enough!  Getting the list will do nothing for you!  I have had the list for a year.  I have read it at least three times.  Nothing has happened!  Actually contact people from the list.  Email is probably best.  If email isn't provided, a letter will have to do.  Make the letter/email professional, but also personal.  Refuse to let them ignore you - even if you are the most boring person on earth, you cannot let them know that.  This is a big problem for me.  I'm all too willing to admit that I have no experience and there are tons of people better than me.  BIG MISTAKE!  

• My goal:  Send out 5 letters/emails.  Beg.
•  Contact People Doing the Job you Want - Offer to volunteer, intern, anything to get them to notice you.  For me this is essential, why not work for free for a criminal law attorney so i can learn how to do it on my own, then open my own practice and do their job better than they ever did and steal all their clients.  I'm sure it won't take more than like a day before I believe that I can do their job better than they can - I need to just go for it!
• My goal:  Contact five attorneys in Ventura/LA County that work in Criminal Law.   Ingratiate myself.
  
•  Expand your search geographically - For me this is hard, b/c driving might kill me, but it's necessary.  I'd rather be working and barely making ends meet b/c i have to stay in a hotel and use a lot of gas.  At least I'm getting some experience.  
• My goal:  Look for government jobs and craigslist stuff for all counties within 4 hours of my house.  Apply for any appropriate jobs that I find.

Hard work is bound to pay off.  No one gets something for nothing.  I really need to start taking my Dad's suggestions more seriously...
"The rich man started on Friday, the poor man waited until Monday." - Rachael's Dad
Ponder that.

Free Food

Being unemployed has made me extremely tired and extremely busy this week... so i had to get my underemployed, idea-riddled friend to write his first (and hopefully not last) guest post.  So, without further ado....HERE'S ANDY!

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If you’re anything like me you like television. And if you’re a LOT like me, you even like the commercials. I should also be able to assume that if you’re reading this blog you are no more than marginally employed, and therefore agree with everything listed here, especially the part about free food (free things in general really). 

Almost a month ago now I saw those commercials for TGIFridays starring Woody. For those of you who don’t know about this promotion (I’m talking to you people with DVR who fast forward through commercials), here is a brief explanation: Woody is a guy who made a bet with TGIFridays that he could get 500,000 fans on Facebook by September 30. He actually had that many by September 15, and has well over a million now. Because Woody won the bet, TGIFridays agreed to give a coupon for a free Jack Daniels Burger (or Chicken Sandwich) to every one of his fans. So I have been waiting for almost a month now to collect my prize…which I found in my spam filter this afternoon.

After coming down from the natural high of earning a free burger coupon valued at up to $9.49, I knew I just had to find more good deals online. So I give you, the top five best free food offers online*:

5) Dairy Queen – Join the Blizzard fan club and receive a coupon for buy one get one blizzards. Some people would tell you to get a friend to buy one and then mooch the second one, but I love blizzards so much I recommend eating them both yourself. That way you can try the blizzard of the month (pumpkin pie) and also get one of your favorite classics.

4) Qdoba – Join their eclub and receive a voucher for free Chips and Salsa.

3) Hardee's / Carl's Jr – This coupon is to promote the Hardee’s (or Carl’s Jr for you folks in Western States) ‘Get What You Deserve Campaign.’ The coupon is actually only for a free small fry to go along with your Big Hardee/Big Carl, but considering how cheap the burger itself is, it’s still a good deal. Also, from what I hear they change the offer every month or so, so you can keep checking back to see what else is available.

2) Red Robin Birthday eClub – There doesn’t look like a catch here. You just sign up with your birthday and get a burger coupon. Of course, there is an advantage for those who have a birthday coming up (you know who you are).

1) Quiznos – If you sign up for the Quiznos mailing list you can get a free Sammie. But the great thing about this is that you also get a free cookie on your birthday. So it’s two fun deals in one.

*This list is in no way an endorsement of these products. I’m writing only as a free food fan.