03. Buying Condoms
With all that free time, unemployed people are probably having a lot of sex - right? So, one would think that smart, responsible, unemployed folk out there would also be spending a lot off their hard earned babysitting or plasma-donating money on condoms - right? WRONG!
First, I'm unemployed, and honestly, I have never purchased any condoms during my unemployment... (which does not necessarily imply that I haven't visited CondomUSA using the name and address of every friend and family member I can think of).
Second, abortion rates have gone up (See Is the Recession Causing More Abortions?). Now I know this site "claims" that rates have gone up because women can't afford to raise children, but I humbly disagree. It's really because condoms are so damn expensive - and no unemployed person wants to waste money on something so overplayed. I mean seriously - been there, done that, too embarrassed to wear the t-shirt.
Next time you see an unemployed person buying condoms at the local drug store - snap a picture and send it over. Pics or it didn't happen!
02. High School Reunions (and their cousin "People Asking What You Do For A Living)
I still have one year, 8 months until my 10 year high school reunion and about once a week I wake up in a cold sweat. My nightmares frequently involve being asked by the head cheerleader what my current job is and replying that I'm still living with my parents, am an attorney, and haven't been able to get a job in 3 years. Then she pulls out her card and offers me a job as her nanny/receptionist/dog walker, etc.
In another dream, I get an award for having changed the least. Literally, I'm wearing an outfit I wore in high school, am covered in teenage acne, and am talking to much, too fast, in hopes of getting people to like me.
And to think I once thought poorly of the kids who didn't go to college, and started working at local companies right out of school. Now they've worked their way up the ladder, and i'm jealous of their health insurance, yearly vacations, and job security.
There's only one thing worse than going to your 10 year high school reunion unemployed - and that's going unemployed and single. I swear, I will pay someone to go as my date and lie their ass off about how we're waiting to get married until we can afford a house.
01. Kanye West
Unemployed people don't want to be left out just because they don't have jobs. Jobless people can hate Kanye West, too. It's the cool thing to do. For once, I'm in the in-crowd!
BONUS!!
Something unemployed people do like PINKBERRY! Notice the smiles? It's indisputable proof - believe me, I know all about indisputable proof, I am an attorney after all! 
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