I refuse to fight with teenagers for a job flipping burgers - unless it's to go undercover to get info for a lawsuit against a fast food chain.
I refuse to lie about my college degrees - unless I really need money to buy a Wii.
I refuse to acknowledge that the economy is getting better. Fast food restaurant jobs should not be included in the stats.
But mostly - I hate fast food "we're hiring" signs for making me feel guilty for not working.
05. Ivy League Graduates
I am a tolerant person. I understand that it is difficult for you to escape your own privilege. But please, please, understand that going to an Ivy League school does not actually make you good at anything - well except for making you feel entitled. At least there are some ivy league grads out there who know there rightful place in the world....here's the profile of a real Ivy League Graduate...
I am a week shy of my 25th birthday, and I am back living in my parents' home. I have a degree from Harvard... Only too late have I realized that one has to get good at something (besides passing tests) to be able to make a living... I've also been so sheltered that I can't give directions to my own home... Since I've dropped out of graduate school I've made some attempts to get a job, but not wholeheartedly. I was fired from a fast-food job a couple of months ago...Almost makes you feel sorry for them, doesn't it... But that's because you haven't seen how this guy is dressed while he's wallowing in his own Ivy League sorrow.
If feeling entitled to all of our money, job recommendations, actual jobs, and promotions at jobs isn't enough, ivy league grads add insult to injury by opining on fashion! Ivy League Fashion is where I draw the line. Someone has got to step in and let those high rollers know that enough is enough. We will not take this anymore!For all the details on the latest trends in "Douche" check out Douche In for Fall/Winter 2009.
Finally, while statistics show that ivy league graduates make the highest salaries after graduation, apparently schools like Princeton just can't bear the thought of their grads having to make loan payments like the rest of us. Princeton's "no-loan policy" guarantees that grads will have plenty of money for a down payment on the Fisker Karma Sunset and never have any reason to engage in public service for loan forgiveness. Geez, those Princies are really missing out on trying to find a good loan consolidation in this market. I'm so lucky to have nearly 100K in student loan debt and no job.
I was going to talk about Ivy League Dating Sites, but the topic made me puke in my mouth - more than just a little bit.
It seems that there's enough to dislike about ivy league graduates to make an entire website..
04. Unprofessionalism
I don't have a job. I am constantly held to ridiculous standards. If there is one typo in your cover letter or resume, you have no shot. If they don't think the earrings you where to the interview are appropriate, you're out of the running. If you don't respond to the email within 15 minutes of it being sent, they've already hired someone else. From thank you notes, to resume paper, to not wearing perfume as your interviewer may be "sensitive" - unemployed people are expected to be the epitome of professional.
What do i get in return? Employers promise to call, they even go so far as giving you a specific time they will call, and say they will call regardless of their decision. Then they NEVER call. I already have a confidence problem due to 1341 rejections, so I'm not going to take time out of my job searching day to call them to find out that they did not chose to hire me for some reason or another. Hmm.. maybe they only give jobs to people who call.....
Or how about when you return a call, get voicemail, leave a message, and then never hear from them ever again...
Or when they send you emails with 7 spelling errors, sentence fragments, and missing information
And then they email you a retraction five minutes later, saying the job offer was actually for a different candidate. Sorry for the confusion.
-----------------------------------
You may have assumed I can't count. Or that I thought that I posted number 7 on part one. You may have even thought that something went wrong on the internet and number 7 got mysteriously deleted. A few of you may have even went so far as to think that I was abducted by aliens and the number 7 was erased from my memory and now when I'm choreographing dances I start with "5...6...8...9".
Well you'd be wrong. First of all, I can't dance at all, let alone choreograph anything! Second, while the non-encrypted wireless network I'm "borrowing" right now IS sketchy, I rarely lose anything. Finally, I'd just like you to know that unemployed people (LIKE ME) harbor an extreme dislike for the number 7. Seven is the number of days in every week that tick by with no job offers, Stephen Covey's Seven Habits of Highly Effective People did not improve my life, one of the seven deadly sins - gluttony - has ruined my life.
Seven is NOT a lucky number. Therefore, there is no number 7 on this countdown.
First, because it's fitting with your theme, there is a spelling error in your post. Third sentence under number 4. Second, I think sloth has done more wonders for your life than gluttony.
ReplyDeletePride has ruined you.
ReplyDelete